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A call for reflection.. On posting & attitude 2 years 2 weeks ago #53132

  • Tropfrog
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Hey, this thread is about posting and attitude. I would not call any post in here off topic, my own included.

BR
Magnus

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A call for reflection.. On posting & attitude 2 years 2 weeks ago #53133

  • tubaboy
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Tropfrog wrote: What I usually try to awoid and most of the time actually succeds in awoiding is criticising a person. I would expert other People here to awoid that as well.


There is a difference between criticising a tree: this is not a bonsai, what you have here is a mallsai, your tree is not a bonsai why waste your time on a small sapling etc... and criticising a person: you're stupid etc. These statements are not equal.

I am a professional musician, I've had long and difficult path getting where I am. I didn't get here because I didn't listen to people who gave me, often quite harsh, criticism. I got here because I let my first initial emotional response calm down, and then I thought about what the person was saying to me...it often hurt to realize that I wasn't going to easily get north by first going some other direction, but in the end, it helped me that people were 100% honest...
and here even more so... I've only killed about 10 trees in my 4 years, and only because of dumb mistakes repotting, and buying species that don't thrive in the conditions I have to offer(another dumb mistake).
ok.. with my first ikea ficus, Auk and I got into a bit of a discussion, but I eventually listened, and 4 years later, I'm still here, and I actually have a few trees that are not too bad and have gotten to be much better under my care... the ikea ficus is still alive, by the way.

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A call for reflection.. On posting & attitude 2 years 2 weeks ago #53136

  • Tropfrog
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tubaboy wrote:

Tropfrog wrote: What I usually try to awoid and most of the time actually succeds in awoiding is criticising a person. I would expert other People here to awoid that as well.


There is a difference between criticising a tree: this is not a bonsai, what you have here is a mallsai, your tree is not a bonsai why waste your time on a small sapling etc... and criticising a person: you're stupid etc. These statements are not equal.


Yes, there is a difference but the border between them is not fixed. There are many ways to say the same thing and there are many ways for the adressee to interpretate and react on what is written.

If you tell people allways in the same way and most of the OP gets offended by it. It is not the OP that needs to change, you are. The best coaches and leaders in the world know how to avoid the trainee to get upset, becouse it does not help them to reach their goals. I am sure your music trainers knew as well, given the success you have faced.

BR
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Last edit: Post by Tropfrog.

A call for reflection.. On posting & attitude 2 years 2 weeks ago #53137

  • Auk
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Tropfrog wrote: Hey, this thread is about posting and attitude. I would not call any post in here off topic, my own included.


Having to have the last word is'nt really a nice character trait either.

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A call for reflection.. On posting & attitude 2 years 2 weeks ago #53139

  • leatherback
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Tropfrog wrote: If you tell people allways in the same way and most of the OP gets offended by it. It is not the OP that needs to change, you are. The best coaches and leaders in the world know how to avoid the trainee to get upset, becouse it does not help them to reach their goals.


Nail and head hit. But out of perspective perhaps. My intent with this thread was to indicate there are people on this forum from around the world. Most of us are not professional coaches, and most of us do not work in the intercultural communication domain. As such the request: Do not read between the lines too much, just look at the message and see whether there is a truth to it. Assume that people are out to help, and not to hurt.

Communication is a two way street. The sender of information should be aware that words may be misinterpreted. But the reader should ALSO realize that the message may not be aimed at bringing someone down, but helping them to get better. If we all keep that in mind a little more, it would become a much nicer place to discuss trees. Instead of fighting over whether a person is rude, insulted, ...

I am a little sad to see this thread almost derail on exactly the point I was trying to make.
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A call for reflection.. On posting & attitude 2 years 2 weeks ago #53144

  • Tropfrog
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Auk wrote:

Tropfrog wrote: Hey, this thread is about posting and attitude. I would not call any post in here off topic, my own included.


Having to have the last word is'nt really a nice character trait either.


That was totally out of context :)

BR
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A call for reflection.. On posting & attitude 2 years 2 weeks ago #53176

  • Ivan Mann
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Arthur C Clarke wrote a story about a futuristic society that had whittled legal things down to two laws.

Don't offend other people unnecessarily.

Don't be offended unnecessarily.

A tad Utopian perhaps.
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